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Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry |  | Author: Albert J. Bernstein
Publisher: McGraw-Hill Professional
Category: Book
List Price: £9.99
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Seller: BOOKS TO WORLD
Rating:  9 reviews
Sales Rank: 50581
Media: Paperback
Edition: New edition
Pages: 256
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.8 x 6 x 0.8
ISBN: 0071381678
Dewey Decimal Number: 155
UPC: 639785332329
EAN: 9780071381673
ASIN: 0071381678
Publication Date: April 1, 2002
Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days
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Product Description
Detailing a range of personality types and human responses, this work shows you how to spot the 'vampires' in your life: self-serving Narcissists, hedonistic Antisocials, exhausting Paranoids, or over-the-top Histrionic drama queens. With advice and psychological perspective, it gives you a range of defense strategies against such creatures.
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| Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 9
 This book explains what is happening to you! July 3, 2008
A. Chambers (Colchester UK)
24 out of 25 found this review helpful
Having decided that my partner had some sort of personality problem and was "draining me dry" emotionally, I got the book on the basis of other Amazon reviews on it. WOW! WOW! There he was! The "lovable rogue" (even the cartoon picture of the personality type was HIM (incredible!)).Now I understood why he never asked me about my day, my life, my interests. That he was so self-centered he thought he was entitled to expect everything I did for him without so much as an acknowledgement, let alone a thank you. The book explained why this "antisocial personality" (psychology speak) has an unfortunate name as they love parties, but just use them to have more people to prey on, to satisfy their every whim. They are really basically loners, and have difficulties with long term relationships, as there is no two-way interaction or empathy. This book made it so clear to me,better than other books on the subject, which concentrate on why they became as they are and to see things from their perspective etc. This one tells you how to RECOGNIZE and HANDLE the problems, and believe me it helps you cope. In my case I had to end the relationship, and I am sure this book made the whole process far less painful (for me, as he would not feel a thing) and it has also kindled a desire to read much more about personality types. All the emotional vampires are in the book, and it is the only book I have read on the subject which makes it clear that they can be a mix of more than one type and that we ALL show some tendencies towards one or another pattern. A refreshing perspective with quizzes to test out personality traits. THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU SEE THE LIGHT IF YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY DRAINED AND YOU CANT FATHOM WHY! Buy it now!
Important: a vampire is not a human being... June 10, 2007
Baz (Manchester, England)
49 out of 54 found this review helpful
This is one book I wish I'd read before venturing, happily but naively, into the dim and murky world of the emotional vampire. But then, of course, none of this could possibly apply to the charming, gorgeous creature sharing my life. What a ridiculous thought! The poor thing has had a lot of tough breaks, and just needs a little help, right? Nobody's perfect. We can all use a little support. What's friendship for, let alone love? Yeah, lean on me, babe. I'm here for you... The next thing I know, a gradual sense of the surreal slowly begins to pervade my life. I find myself trying to figure stuff out all the time. What was that she said? Why did she say that? Why would someone do that? Is it me? Am I missing something? My mind going round and round in ever decreasing circles. Little did I know this is the first symptom of blood loss.
I enjoyed this book even though it's quite a while since I managed to escape, dragging my poor depleted body through the Transylvanian woods to freedom and slowly regaining my sanity. Bernstein is the emotional equivalent of Van Helsing and this book is the string of garlic you need to hang around your neck. He writes well with much wisdom and a few laughs thrown in and there were many 'Aha!' moments for me.
Good as it is, I feel that this book will be most useful for victims outside of intimate relationships. God forbid that your significant other is an emotional vampire. The effects are devastating, extremely damaging and the abuse of friendship and love (much worse than physical abuse in my opinion) takes years to get over. The important thing to grasp is that these creatures are NOT human in the sense that most 'normal' people would understand. By definition, a vampire is not a human being. These people are parasites inhabiting the weird and batty world of the undead. I am not joking. This is a difficult concept to explain if you haven't been in a relationship with one.
If you even suspect that your significant other is a vampire - there's only ONE thing you can do if you want to avoid more blood loss and keep your sanity. Run like hell in the opposite direction. And keep on running.
 Eerily accurate June 22, 2001
33 out of 37 found this review helpful
The tone is tongue-in-cheek, but the criteria the author lays out surprisingly spot on! For anyone who's been emotionally drained (as I've been for the past few years), you'll recognize the diagnosis immediately. What I like about the book is the author's pro-active stand in offering solutions to present problems, rather than pleading with us (as most self-help books tend to do) to empathise with the aforesaid vampire's emotional problems. Understanding their problems is one thing, allowing yourself to be trapped by those very problems is another. Worth the investment, if only to know that you're not mean or mad by wanting to get rid of these (apparently) sweet and loving creatures.
good read - and great to go back to January 12, 2009
bucksman (BUCKS, United Kingdom)
16 out of 18 found this review helpful
I came to this book and others like it due to 3 circumstances in my life
Firstly - my ex-brother in law could have had half this book just written especially for him, a genuine case study if ever there was one.
Secondly - I used to work in an office which had a colleague blessed with the most incredible arrogance. What confused me was the histrionics that came with it.
I left and am now working in an office with 2 doubtful characters, another one with mind blowing arrogance, and another one who enjoys his office politics.
Thirdly - I had some suspicions about a potential partner prior to getting engaged. There was always a story about why something had happened to explain the large chunks left out of her life. This with comments of "that's something for another day" made me wonder as to what on earth the girl had been up to.... Within days of the engagement, there was a definite shift in her behaviour patterns, and I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. I thought "if this is what its like after a few weeks, what's it going to be like after a few years?" So that was the end of that.
I was so annoyed at myself that I didn't trust my own warning signs so early in the relationship; I decided to get reading to see what it was that I had done wrong. This spelt it out clearly in many chapters.
As a man - the chapter on histrionics should be read by every man on the planet, a definite eye opener. Unfortunately the rest of the book describes far more men I have come into contact with than women!
Who should read the book? Well anyone who feels that someone you love/know/work with is operating on a different (read immoral) agenda than yourself.
What positives did I get out of it?
A reassurance that my gut instinct about the people mentioned above was probably correct.
Knowledge that an attempt to correct their behaviour is futile. This is the way they are, they lie to themselves first, convince themselves of that lie, so lying to you is easy.
What negatives did I get out of it?
The self test chapters are a bit uncomfortable at times, especially when your score is a touch higher than it should be. We all have our dark side though, if you can acknowledge that, then reading the book shouldn't create too many worries.
The worst part of reading the book was the realisation that one chapter could have been written about my mother.
What do you do? -
Just what Baz says - Run like hell in the opposite direction? And keep on running.
Keep everything what you learn about others from reading this book to yourself- labelling people with a personality disorder is very serious indeed.
 Does what it says on the tin April 14, 2009
Katharine K
8 out of 8 found this review helpful
I bought this book because I am an adult child of narcissistic parents, and these kind of parents are emotional vampires.
This book was ok, it was fun to read, and covered most kinds of vampires you might meet, but I was looking for something specific, and I didn't really find what I was looking for in this book.
Very good if you want to get a broad view of EVs, but too broad if you know exactly what type of EVs are in your life.
Showing reviews 1-5 of 9
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